I want to run away. Away from this crappy thing that I am calling my life right now. I want to take Logan and start over. I hate being stuck living with my parents, I hate that my marriage is in shambles and that my "other half" is not helping me in anyway besides telling me, "I am all ready giving you my entire paycheck." He apparently is oblivious to the fact that I am paying ALL of the bills, so ofcourse you are going to give me your paycheck. Doesn't help that he spends whatever money he wants when he wants to, which in return causes me to fall further behind on our bills. I HATE that I am a month behind on our mortgage, credit cards, cell phone, insurance and car payments. I hate that my credit is so shot that even in the off chance that I may be able to get my own place in the next year I wont be able to get approved for it. I HATE that I am not appreciated at my job. Yes, I may not have been the best person to work with when I was pregnant, but I work my ASS off. I didn't take my 6 weeks maternity leave that I, by law, could have taken, I worked the week I had Logan and every week there after. Did I get noticed for that, NO! I got the smallest raise out of everyone at the last review because of my communication. Do my bossess see that I make litte to no mistakes, which is a pretty big deal when your title is "Accounting Manager," no they don't. They see the small select few mistakes I make and remember it for review time. I am not perfect by any means, but I deserve a lot more appreciation then I get.
I don't hate my life, I just hate where I am in my life right now. The only good thing I have going is my baby boy, and I thank God for him everyday. I also want to note that I appreciate my parents and for helping me. I only hate that I am stuck there, I am a grown women and need my own space.
End Rant. For now anyway.
Keep your head up! You'll make it through. That's what my hubby tells me when I feel down and like we're never gonna get out of the situation we're in too. Bad credit, bills out of the wahzoo, no money, etc. He would say there's no where to go but up for us and to have faith. It makes me feel better and I up again searching for more jobs. Don't worry, I feel the same way sometimes too. Days when you just wanna pack yourself and your son up and just leave to start over! I've been there! So keep your head up, A!!! Things will get better, just have patience! (Something I repeat to myself a lot on occasion!)
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