Update time...

Logan had his 6 month check up last Thursday. She said he is healthy and perfect, but she did mention the term cerebral palsy which still has me a bit freaked out. I mentioned that Logan likes to cross his ankles whether he be standing or sitting. It is not all the time but pretty frequently. Apparently, this is a sign of cerebral palsy in premature babies. Logan was not a premie, so she checked his ankles, knees and legs to make sure everything seemed okay, and it did. She said worst case is he might be pigeon toed. I know she was just ruling everything out, but I wish she would not have mentioned these things to me. I don't want a list of "what if's" I only want to know if there is actaully an issue. Now I feel like I am worrying about something that probably is not even going to happen. I like his pedi, but this just rubbed me the wrong way.




Went out with the girls on Saturday night and had a blast. I really need to work on being less whiny and learn to enjoy myself more. I let my emotions get the best of me to often. Thank goodness I have two amazing friends who I honestly could not live without. Moving back to our girls night, We went to a bar at the mall and had a few drinks. It was pretty slow there so we decided to head out and look for another bar. We had heard that one of the local bars was pretty hopping so we stopped there, as soon as we walked in a creepy older guy was just staring at us, and wouldn't stop. So we all had a restroom break and decided we didn't want to hang around, so we headed over to an irish bar and finished off our night there.

Got some great pictures out of it!

A lot of crap has been going on at work lately, but I refuse to vent about it on here. If I did, thats all this blog/journal would ever be about. I will say that I am still upset with my sister and have been going on a week now. A situation was handled completely inappropriately and until an apology is made, I don't think I will ever let this go. I am not someone who doens't forgive. I am talking to her and treat her as I normally do, but when something bad happens and it never gets resolved I do remember it. I am also not somebody that is going to request an apology, she needs to realize when she is in the wrong and do it all on her own. It was not entirely her fault and I realize that. Now lets see if this situation affects my review, and if it does, I know for a fact I will not be able to hold my tongue.

You know your a mom...

When you start getting overly excited about a new car seat. I have been having a lot of these
"You know your a mom" moments lately. I now fully understand why my mom never does anything for herself. Given, she has gotten better now that my sister and I are older, but she still holds back on a lot. I ordered Logans new car seat on the 10th and it is finally getting delivered today. His first big boy car seat. My baby is growing up so fast.

We went to the fair yesterday with Georgia and had a blast. I got to try Elephant Ears, which are apparently a very hot item. Fair food has changed a lot from when I was younger. At least that I remember. I might have just blocked it all out because all I ever wanted were funnel cakes.

Logan was such a good boy the whole time. Oh, it is insane how much I love that kid. He is changing so much everday. I wish I didn't have to work so much so I could be with him more.

Phew...

I don't consider myself an artsy type person, but when I get motivated to do something I usually end up going crazy with it. My blog for example. I have been attempting to keep one going for years now, and have yet to be successful, but as I said in an earlier post I am determined! There are so many other blogs that I love reading on a daily basis as I seem to be living vicariously through them. I use it as an escape from my life and the stresses that seem to be weighing me down.

I have been learning a lot about myself lately. I realized the other day that I am not happy with where I am in my life right now. I am constantly stressed, depressed and the big one, pissed off. I am mad at everything, with the exception of Logan. I know that hormones can be out of whack after you have a kid, but come on now! Go back to normal. I am not going to lie and say I didn't have these same feelings before I got pregnant, but right now that are like multiplied by 100. With everything I have been through this past year I deserve to be happy, and instead of sitting around pouting I am going to get off my butt and make it happen.

Anyway, new blog format done! It is staying like this, I will not allow myself to play with it anymore.

Growing Sprout..

My little guy is growing way to fast. I have mixed emotions about this. I am looking forward to the walking and talking stage, but also a bit concerned about it as well. A part of me wants Logan to get a little bigger and another part wants him to stay little forever. Him getting bigger also means that I am getting older, which I am not so excited about. Here is an example of my growing strout...

Sitting! We are still mastering this skill. Logan has discovered that falling over it not so much fun. Exspecially if mom got distracted by the TV and I hit something on the way down. It is amazing that you can look away for a nano second and return to a baby toppling over. Even if you are sitting with your legs around him to lessen the blow.

Crawling and walking will come next. Logan is determined to be as mobile as possible so sometimes I wonder if he will skip crawling all together.

On a side note, I am never satisfied with things I come up with. For example, my blog design. I dislike the name and the format. I will be making some changes to them and I will MAKE myself leave it like that permanently. I am on a mission to be more creative, I also want to try my hand at photography, but I am not holding my breath on that one. Most of the pictures in my blog thus far have come from Camera phones and I just did my silly little changes to them, but it's a start.

Check out this gummy grin! I really am blessed with how stinking cute my kid is. He is my heart.

What is normal anymore?

Sometimes I feel as if my emotions have gone back into place since having Logan, and other times I feel like I want to scream and pull my hair out. I wish I was a naturally happy person, but instead I feel like I am this rude crazy person who nobody wants to be around. I have my two best friends that really help balance me out, and I am always in a great mood when I am around them, but when it is just me I feel like exploding. I know there are a lot of things going on in my life that are effecting my mood, but why am I letting them? Everything, and I mean everything makes me mad or frustrated.

I used to think I was a person that never had many emotions, but I am starting to believe that I may have more then I originally thought. My main one being anger. I hate that I am mad all the time. I wish there was something I could do to be different. Sometimes I wish I were somebody else entirely. Which sounds horrible. I love my family and friends, and I love my son more then anything in the world. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but me, I would trade myself in instant. There are so many things that I need to work on and I have no idea where to start.

So Scary!

I love to watch scary movies. Even the cheesy ones. I have always been surprised at how much I like them, as when I was growing up everything scared me. Now days, it takes a really good horror movie to give me the creeps. It seems; however, that while the movie does not scare me as I am watching it, it seems to make me pretty paranoid when I start walking around dark areas of the house or when I leave for work in the morning.

This morning, for example, I left my house at about 5:45 am. My neighborhood is very quiet at this time. No interior lights are on, and I rarely ever see anybody else. I take the very short walk to my car and right as I am about to unlock it, a garage door starts opening down the alley and a car begins to pull out. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I unlocked the door so fast and dove into my car where I proceeded to lock the door behind me. Now, unless this neighbor was a crazy serial killer, my actions were pretty silly. I usually end up just giggling at my cowardness and imagine what would really happen if my scary early morning neighbor were actually a serial killer. I don't think I would stand a chance!

When I arrive at work, the lights are turned off. I am the only person who gets to work at 6 am, and am by myself until the others start trickeling in at about 8. I had asked whoever is the last to leave for the night to make sure to leave the lights on as I am always freaked out in the morning. Everyone did the standard "eye roll" but agreed. I unlock the door and proceed to take the stairs to the upper floors of our building where my office is. About halfway up, I freeze. What was that noise? I stand there for about a second so I can hear things more clearly and realize it was just the rain hitting the side of the building. Phew, that was close! Yeah, not really.

I am going to blame my recent actions on the movie "Paranormal Activity." This movie is one that gave me the creeps while watching it. I would recommend renting it, and maybe, just maybe I will start seeing more posts like this one. But until then, I am on the lookout for my next scary movie.